World Cup Soccer Virtual tour, ScottysGig laments about Scotland not making the World Cup. Cartoons, rants and just sharing the major sites in the cities he travels too. The people he meets along the way and the mode of travel he takes. It is meant to make you chuckle just think it could be your taking the tour. See you in South Africa.
SOMEWHERE!....in the darkest recesses of his mind, Scotty was not looking forward 2 this day, this was the day when our hero had 2 leave his beautiful Italy, friggin Ell even his Frugalmobile (Smart Car) was sobbing!, FAQ? Why,Why,- "WHY!" , Anyhooooo! after a few moments of reassuring the........."Car" he was able 2 saunter on down the highway, he remembered the famous lines of the Big-Guy, (I WILL BE BACK). This is a shot of him driving Smartly along heading 4 Munich Germany, where he will link up with an old friend from Aberdeen Hans Rheims who was visiting relatives in Munich, he also was going 2 hook up with his Buddy Nash Barber who was flying into Munich, THEN! Scotty and Nash were going 2 drive all the way from Germany down 2 Cairo Egypt, take a freakin breather, then get on our Smart Cap's and boot it on down 2 Cape Town South Africa 2 represent Scotland, and I might add the friggin "Tartan Army" Bro! this is the "BIGSHOW" and the flag of St. Andrews will B flying high at the Party,and, and, and.......just Maybe the Answer 4 the whole trip might surface Hey Bro! ....Lifes a Gig, so friggin Milk it, listen up, Scctland is the Neanderthals of World Soccer, the freakin "Tartan Army" is always ready All we need is an Invitation.
SeeeeyaSOON! ScottyBro
P.S. HEY! Stay Tuned, Scotty- Nash- Smart Pants will head 4 Austria, Slovenia,Croatia......................
Believe it or not, ScottyBro was cruising along in all his glory dreaming about the day when, ugh? Scotland won the "World Cup" YAHOOOOOOOOO! WHEN outta the blue this mirage, abberation what ever U want 2 call it friggin left him, like he was standing still YIKES!........it so happened at the next pit stop, whatta relief, Their it was in all it's glory, with it's sleek bodyframe, and that snub nose, Big-assed end, with All that Power, yoweeeeeee! and it wassa Police car 2 boot huh? "Gofigger" Hey! wait a minute, if yer policing the super highway's what would B better than a freakin Lamborghini Ghyardo, Nobody's going 2 take U 2 the Limit, if their human? and there ain't a better product 4 National pride, and as a selling tool than 2 show it 2 the public on the highway's and Biway's of this Magical Country, Shit! it made our hero jealous, he is a lover of Lamborghini's, come 2 think about it, he loves all the Italian Car's, Friggin Ell! this is the domain of beautiful design, it does'nt matter if it's a watch, a ring, a dress, (and what's in it) Yuk,Yuk, 2 a boat, a plane, What ever, ScottyBro was coming 2 the end of his Italian Safari, and guess what, he would like 2 stay longer, unfortunately believe it or not he has a schedule 2 get back on track, SO! 2 Cut a long story short, ScottyBro had a great conversation with the 2 police Officers, and they promised that they would give him the courtesy on the highway of passing in second gear.
Highland GAMES U say?...this one took the cake Bro! here was ScottyBro enjoying his last nite out in Rome, this was a Bar in the heart of the Downtown area, that was a wee bit left of centre, Anyhoooo the game was 2 lift one of the Bartenders above ones head, Then! hold a jug of Natures"Gold"......S-T-E-A-D-Y! SO! that U kept it's head, Hold it till the patron's give U the "Thumb's-UP" (Just like Caesar) THEN! my friend, one can benefit 2 a nite fun frolick ...and drinks 4 freeee! YO! or one can take the easier way out, ......if U can't partake U can still still B a Jolly Roger, by getting your picture with the Bartender, hoisted up by a wire, of course U don't get the prize, and U don't get the Adulation, Buit what U get outta the shot, is the chance 2 grab some Ass BRO!...and the Question of our hero is,..."Did He, od Didn't He" was it his Olympic Moment, or did he flunk out?, Onr thing we do Know, is that he definately had "GOLD" in his hand,.....or two yuk,yuk.
P.S. The game plan is 2 drive from Rome up 2 Northern Italy AGAIN! and hook up with the Alps Tunnel, Then it's on 2 Switzerland and Germany Yahooooooooooo!
Some people say!...that it pay's 2 B a weeeee Crazy, Well! this is our hero giving a ride 2 a Chic called Sheela Fraser, an Aussie with a penchant 4 the Liberal Art's, so 2 speak yuk,yuk,....get my drift, ScottyBro had decided 2 take the coast route up 2 Rome, and Sheela heard him talking 2 the font desk at the Hotel of his intention's, Well! how convenient she thought, this is a chance 2 hopefully 2 hitch a ride up 2 the Eternal City and it's "Magic", let me tellya our hero saw the package hmm, and cdecided 2 give her a ride, (SUCKA) he felt that the trip up would B better with some company along the way, from the time that she got in the car 2 the time they got 2 Rome,......it was (Blah,Blah, Blah,Blah,Blah) this was a shot as he drove on a beautiful road, the weather was still a wee chilly, she was excited that spring was just around the corner, when outta the blue she had an urge 2 embrace the scene, she said that Aussies love 2 garnish the moment, our hero thought that she was talking about something 2 eat, Wrong Again!...she slipped out of her jacket, popped the sunroof and thrust herself into the blue yonder, friggin ell! ScottyBro nearly had a heart attack, just a minute ago he was in the warmth of his Scottymobile! NOW! the freaky Babe from down under was girating in the sea air with a skimpy top on, and I might add a helluva distraction 2 the on coming traffic, and the lineup that began 2 follow, Man! it was friggin chilly, our hero was brave enough 4 a short while, but his goosebumps were getting goosebumps, So! he asked her 2 get back inside, and she kept saying that U don't tell an Aussie 2 Do anything, Shit! there like we Scot's very dogmatic, Ah! I get it, we Scot's sent a lot of our so called malcontent's 2 the Big Island penal system 2 eleviate the backed up system we had, Now! they have came back 2 haunt us, Shoot!, he was thinking of giving her the pitch, but alas his athiastic background would not allow him 2 venture there, So with his his chattering teeth , drippy bluenose, and freakin chillin persona, he managed 2 eventually hook off the road and pull into a wee village 4 a pit stop, where she engratiated the local's with her fantastic Acting skill's, Shit! a few minutes ago he was going 2 kill her, now it's friggin diplomacy sublime, I guess it's a case of, if it fit's?.......... and the beauty of the pit stop was that he was able 2 dump the Beast, she latched on 2 another gullible tourist in the village, whatta figgin relief Bro! 3 hours of yakitty yak, had him frazelled, and he was thinking of staying at the beautiful village over nite, But the thought that she might still B around pushed him on, Hey! at least at the other end is the Eternal Bliss of Rome. SeeeeyaSOON! ScottyBro
P.S. All roads lead 2 Rome, the eternal city, the appian way and Peace, No more passengers, YO!!!!!!!!
FreakinEll! whatta place, Naples just blew ScottyBro outta the water, Sure! he had been told by other tourists about it's appeal, "They were friggin WRONG!" IT'S MORE!, 2 B here and experience its (Magic) is not only a priviledge, no wonder that a lot of movies have been shot here, I know that Vesuvious cap's it off, well I have news 4 the old mountain which hasn't erupted since Dec. 1944, that it would B better 4 all concerned 2 keep yer friggin cap on, the local's call her Scarletto, (Hunchback), and one can venture up 2 the rim and get one of the most spectacular views U will see in your life Bro! Nothing like this in Scotland, it makes the volcano that Edinburgh castle was built on, look like a pimple, yuk,yuk, and can U imagine that the people still farm it's very slopes up 2 this day, They either have devine guidance, or have a penchant 4 danger, when the Volcano exploded in 79AD. it decimated the City and the town's of Pompeii and Herculanium, and there worried about traffic, Go Figger?, Anyhoooo! this is our hero talking 2 his friend Nash back in Aberdeen, he's taking pictures of the Bay of Naples with the city and Vesuvious as the backdrop, his plan is 2 find some time 2 visit Pompeii, Then hopefully get back 2 Rome in a couple of day's.
SeeeeeyaRealSOON ScottyBro P.S. Wait till U see his car rental, it fit's him 2 a "T". yuk,yuk,
This was one of those moments where he missed his Buddy Nash back in Aberdeen, thank god Palmero had a girlfriend called Melita Chellini, she was a friggin Show Stopper, and with a wee coaxing from Palmero, Melita was able 2 get our hero back on track YO!!! this is a shot of the Barbecue just north of Trapani on the North West coast of Sicily, ScottyBro never travels without his "Tartan Army" FLAG!....and he has a tradition no matter where he is, 2 dip "Old Blue" in the waters of contentment that he must journey, in a sign of personal respect 2 the people that he visit's.
PS. Our hero plus Melita and the gang will B Riding on. SeeyaSOON! ScottyBro
It's that time of year , U know the time 4 Reflection,...and poor ScottyBro can't get past the "BIG YIN" the one that created this whole big plan,...and the Quest! "WHY" why O why can't we Scot's get 2 the friggin "World Cup", (Groan) he's heard the answers on 4 front's Brazil, France, Spain, and Italy,...and i might add that he's more confused than ever, he left Scotland with a simple plan, and with every FFP's he's gathered more baggage yuck's,....most of the answers have mentioned that the Premier League was the destruction of the homebrew talent, and when the game returns to the grassroots, the Academy's, then U will see a more balanced and greater talent pool again, Man! that's going 2 take a freakin lotta time Bro!, our hero laughed at a kid in Brazil who said that U have 2 Crawl B/4 U learn 2 walk, Shit they have won the friggin "Big-Show" ugh? how many times fffive or is it Six times, Shoot! they know how 2 Score, and they get all the Bling, we Scot's just want a little piece of the friggin action, like ugh? getting 2 the "SHOW" that would B "COOL", 2 have the "Tartan Army" in cold storage AGAIN! is killng the game in Scotland, the youngsters in Scotland are growing up with a Losing attitude, and that is the footings from which we build our tomorrow's, ....and that my friend is Lower Ranking's in the future, (sob!)....the beauty of the Beautiful game is that you tend 2 live for the now, hopefully our hero will B able 2 decifer the Quest and find some kind of Answers that just might help him when he return's 2 Scotland after he goes 2 the "World-Cup" in June, in South Africa, this is a SHOT! he Scores! of ScottyBro in Sicily, at a Xmas Gathering, and like B/4 they asked if he could come in his Scottish Regalia, ....nae problem he said, this was all part of the cultural exchange that he figured would B part of the journey, and that is why he packed 4 the moments, and the fact is he loved 2 B different anyway, ......getting back 2 this shot , he was in the process of singing a Xmas Song plus a wee improv, When outta the blue the "Big Guy" arrived, he was a Bit Wobbly SO! ScottyBro just winged it Anyhooooo, with a wee bit of levity he was able 2 flow from the Xmas Song into the entre,and I might say, that my mates back home would have givin him a passing grade Bro!. After an evening of great company and 2 much (hic!) wine our hero was able 2 drag,....or should I say crawl his way back 2 the hotel, and that I might add was something that pre-neanderthal's could'nt do, ...and, and, we Scot's can get up in the friggin mornin and kick some ball around our hero was thinkin, Nae Bloody WAY! just maybe in the afternoon ugh?... he remembered from past experiences that the human body can only take a certain amount of abuse, THEN!... it's back 2 charging the Battery's AGAIN!, (Grunt,Groan)...B/4 he sign's off 4 the nite, he wanted 2 take some time 2 wish each and every one, the Merriest (hic!) of Xmases, hoping that U not only get what U like , and what U wanted, But! that U can give a wee cheer and hopefully a Wish, THAT! we FRIGGIN SCOTS will B partying at the next freakin "BIG-SHOW" with U, we would love 2 win it , but like that youngster in Brazil said , We can crawl 2 the party, THEN! the "Tartan Army" can show U the way 2 P-A-R-T-Y! if it came 2 winning the Cup 4 Partying, the Scot's would B up there with BRAZIL, Shoot! we need 2 Score! BRO!....Anyhoooooooo! like he said, take time 2 make time this Xmas 2 Reflect on the good thing's in life, and remember we do have a lifeline,...and that is humor! with it U can have the Xmas that we all should enjoy, this is the first Xmas that our hero has been away 4 Xmas, Thank God 4 Internet, Emails, Cell Phones, and a great......."WINE"
ScottyBro took a side trip 2 the Holy Land,....GOD'S country, NO! not the one in the Bible, but the one where all good gearheads love 2 visit, YES! U got it the beautiful rolling hills and sensuous bends of TURIN,.... the land of Ferrari and Lamborghini, Man!...whatta friggin "GIG" this is without a doubt theee Highlite, ScottyBro had fallen in love as a youngster back in Scotland, the first time he saw a Ferrari he was five years old, maybe even younger, his eyes nearly popped out of his head, it was without a doubt the most beautiful thing he had seen up till then, Well! let me tellya through the subsequent passing years they have just got better and better, and 2 this day they hold the key 2 his heart, Man! that beautiful sensuous body,and and,and,..and those gorgeous louvers, the aggressive posture, with that Ferrari Red, its the landmark of ALL Designs, everything that is made in this planet comes under the scrutiny of comparison's, is it as good as a F- F-E-R-AR-R-I?....my friggin guess is, not bloody likely!. Anyhoooooo on this trip up 2 Turin he met up with a group of "Gearheads" from all over, and they were taking this pilgrimage up 2 the halls of perfection 2 get their fix, VROOOOM,VROOOOM, the freakin damn ROOOOOOMS R Expensive! and not only 2 see the Ferarri factory, but 2 B able 2 kill two birds with one stone , his favourite I talian team is Juve!....maybe its because of the association with the City, WHAT!.....Ferarri and Juventus in the same place WOWeeeeeeee! there go's a fortune on a Ferarri T SHIRT, and a Diego's Juve SHIRT, the buck stop's in Turin! OH WELL! ...it's only money yuk,yuk. he was able 2 get the gearheads 2 take shots of him and all the Ferarri's, it was like a Win- Win Party, the shot above, is of the Ferarri 360 Spyder, one of his fave's, So! it had 2 B right on, and 2 have the beautiful Leslie Divers from his home town of Aberdeen Scotland made it all that more special, she had a wit that was off the charts, ...and 2 try and focus on the shot was a real task 4 our hero, Every time she said "CHEESE"...it sounded like Geez! and his ears would perk up, and his senses went wild, here he was touching a 360 Spyder, ...and, and, and looking into the eyes of a gorgeuos Scottish Lassie (SWOOOON), I guess the game never end's, it's just that theres no time 2 start, and time 2 end huh?, U have 2 seize the moment, and love it Bro!. Well Anyhooo! they were going 2 spend the afternoon on a picnic, somewhere in the Turin hill's with a bottle of Italy's best , and the magical sounds of a rasping Ferarri as a backdrop, Friggin ell what else do U want out of Life Bro! THAT!....... and a Passionate Picnic with Leslie, "LONG LIVE GEARHEADS".
SeeeeyaSOON! ScottyBro
PS Our hero is all geared up now, and ready 4 the next "RUMBLE".
Ah! the "Forum".....ScottyBro like most tourists was looking forward 2 this tour, and my god he was amazed at the collapse of the financial Institutions, hmmm? much like today, seem's like we never learn, Greed does corrupt, I think it was the word's of Cicero, SHIT!....he wassa head of his time Bro!. THIS!.... in time is what await's our houses of humble pie, ..one giant step 4 man,....one giant leap 4 the BIG FALL!, Anyhoooooo! back 2 the NOW! ScottyBro is hoping 2 meet up with Mario his Buddy Vick's brother in law, Mario was born in Aberdeen Scotland, and alway's wanted 2 visit his family's homeland of Italy, This was the time that all the chip's fell into place, this wa s the Summer of enlightment 4 him, not only was he going 2 visit this beautiful Country, he was going 2 wrap himself up in his heritage, and absorb the time warp, ......and he's a Soccer fan 2 boot, THIS!... should B a "Doozer", friggin ell! he's a Glasgow Celtic fan, and, and, ...and he loves the ladies, and History, Oh Well! 2 outta 3 ain't bad Ugh? Mario and ScottyBro will B spending the day at the Forum, the Colliseum,(this is ScottyBro's third trip 2 the House of Pain) he's actually thinking of applying 4 a guides permit, yuk,yuk,...then they R hoping 2 see the Arch of Titus, Caesar's Temple,the Arch of Constantine, Nero's Palace, Romulas's Mossaleum, and on and on, this Country, thought ScottyBro, will either pamper your mind,....or leave U with a serious bout of ADD!, He was going 2 take it in small step's, kinda like the Baby Step's, that Psychologist's and Psychiatrist's drop on us, and the friggin Bill, yuk!. Anyhoooo! this is our hero looking across the site at the remnant's of the house of Gain, Man!.....its Amazing what 2000 year's can do, theres more 2 this than meet's the eye Bro! hopefully Mario will B able 2 fill in the friggin gap's.
HEY!!!!...Mario it's ScottyBRO! How R U ? ........................................................................................................
.................................................................stay tuned 2 the next installment of our hero & Mario, on the Loose! "Seeeeeyyyyyaaaa SOON".........ScottyBro!
Not all of Scottybro's time was "T he Quest"....,Oh Nooo! their was side trip's 2 local establishments 2 getta local perspective, ugh? like the local Beaches just 2 RUMinate over the friggin "Quest", his heart was set on getting other point's of view as 2 WHY! SCOTLAND CAN'T.......... ........"S-C-O-R-E" OOOOOH! I feel a headache coming ON!, Hey!........look at that freakin site 4 sore eyes, it's time 4 a "Time Out" from all this friggin thinking, She looks like SHE has the answer's 2 a lot of my need's, I know, I'll hit her with ONE of my lines?,.......Needless 2 say his "Life's a Gig waiting 2 Happen" approach came a Cropper!, this signora (The BOUNCER) had her own scheme, first came....U got it! "M-O-N-E-Y" and the next was ugh?........U got it again! friggin "M-O-N-E-Y".......And her towline was her frisbee, she had it down 2 an Art form, the beach was her Hook-Line-@-Sinker......just throw the frisbee and pull in the SUCKERS!, WELL! let me tell U this friggin Scotty has moral's,......and a freakin "Budget" 2 boot FAQ?, Why Me! There's another friggin Question 2 add 4 my "Quest" (Headache), ....just maybe That IS the answer, We Scot's will always B on a Quest, if it was'nt Soccer it would B something else, were an inquisitive bunch, and the what's around the next Bend senario,...is so US?,.......he came 2 the Beach on a freakin "Vespa",.........and she was looking 4 a Ferrari Bro!...... "U Lose" Anyhoooooooo! back 2 the "Quest" , some tanning, lotsa "CHILLIN", some Scouting,....AH! maybe some "Tartan Army" DREAMIN!,.................................He Shoot's!....he SCORES!!!!!!! ScottyBro believes there's a Conspiracy in the Soccer Community, that if Scotland should ever win the "World Cup", They'd B afraid that it might B stolen, and adorning someones mantlepiece, ...or languishing in a pawnshop, NEVER 2 see the light of day AGAIN!, Sceptics, that is our "Auld Enemy", we the "TARTAN ARMY" have a dream, full of Wine-Women-@-"Bling"......................................................................................the World Cup 2 US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Whatta friggin place!....the house of pain, or should I say...the "COLLISEUM", built 2thousand years ago 2 entertain the freakin masses, the "Tartan Army" could get some solace here, ScottyBro took it upon himself 2 pilgrimage 2 this Classical Landmark, that personify's the struggles 2 win at All Cost's,........maybe that's what we should do 4 the Scottish Soccer team,....ugh? give them an ultimatum, kinda like "PAY AS U PLAY", it has a nice ring 2 it don't Uthink!. Anyhooooo!...back 2 the "BIG-HOUSE", his plan is 2 park himself inside the structure,....and do some Celtic chant's, like he's going back 2 his Root's, a kind of War cry! that just might release the curses, and allow us 2 move forward, and win some friggin Soccer "Bling" (FAQ?) ...... That's all we ASK!. I tellya the "COLLISEUM" must have been a site 4 sore eyes Bro! I wonder if deadlines were an issue?, I realize that the dead couild tell a story or 2, maybe a a million or more U think?, the wonder in all it's glory, was not the "Blood Spectacles" ....but the building of it, U walk around trying 2 imagine, how could they do that?....and....and....and how could they do this?...... .it's amazing the ingenuity of mankind, it never seizes 2 amaze me, THIS! is a place that will stay in his heart 4ever, the struggles of the people 2 not only build it, the maintenance of it, and the eventual functioning as a killing platform 4 the masses 2 B entertained, arent U glad that "TIMES HAVE CHANGED" YO! NOW! we loose our head's over.........."DEADLINES " ye figger?. At this time ScottyBro's going into the building, he's trying 2 get his head around the Celtic chant's, SO! he need's some solace 2 get himself into a state of mind, a kind of RA!RA!RA!!!!!!!!! MAN! we the Spirit's of the "TARTAN ARMY" will go 2 any length 4 SUCCESS. Stay Tuned.....Seeeeeeya SOON! ScottyBro
SOMEWHERE!....in the darkest recesses of his mind, Scotty was not looking forward 2 this day, this was the day when our hero had 2 leave his beautiful Italy, friggin Ell even his Frugalmobile (Smart Car) was sobbing!, FAQ? Why,Why,-
