World Cup Soccer Virtual tour, ScottysGig laments about Scotland not making the World Cup. Cartoons, rants and just sharing the major sites in the cities he travels too. The people he meets along the way and the mode of travel he takes. It is meant to make you chuckle just think it could be your taking the tour. See you in South Africa.
Whaaaatta friggin PARTEEEE!...Luigi and Palmero arranged 4 a wee gathering at a seaside Restorante, just 2 make ScottyBro feel at home, Blimey!.....we had 80 people turn up, Man! it helped 2 sooth the pain of being away from home at Xmas, that and "Bikers will Always come 2 a Party" Bro! . They had managed 2 get the services of Rab Bruce, Who! it happened 2 B on the island doing research into the Mt. Etna volcano, he wassa volcanologist, from Glasgow, going round the world 2 all the Big hotspot's, and doing on-site research and data collecting, Man! Scot's have gotta B one of the greatest travellers, and I might add Researchers in human history Bro?, can U imagine growing up in Scotland and studying "Volcanoes" huh?.well Rab told him that good old Edinburgh Castle was sitting right on top of a Volcano, millions of years defunk, but none the less, a "Volcano".....and, and U never know, one of these century's.......... ( KABOOOM!) Anyhoooooo! Luigi & Palmero had manged 2 acquire his services 2 play his pipes at the gathering, and the funny thing was............that his Italian girlfriend who didn't speak a word of English, was by his side all evening long, YEH! that's her on the extreme left, I guess she must like men in skirt's who happen 2 B long winded, hmmm? SHIT! our hero well's up everytime he hears the pipes Bro!, and especially at Xmas time and never having been away from home at this time of year, (sob!) Now! where was he? AH! ...as one can see , Luigi Palmero, & there friend Roberto had come in their cultural garb, the "PalermoPINK" was the order of the day, and a few others had taken the heed, and this year the Palermo Soccer team is a good team, SO! there is "Cheer" on the island, How about giving Scotland some of the friggin "Bling" ugh?, we need HELP!, I tellya if we had 2 wear a skirt, and,and .....wear "PINK" we would do it Pronto Mate,.....(I think?). ScottyBro was soon the focus of attention, with his tartan kilt, Carrot-top, hiking boot's, and his Scottish "Tank-Top" he was hmmm? different,he was not the usual tourist who frequented the shores of this Mediterranean Jewel, NO! ....that's 4 sure, people have always been intrigued by the unorthodoxy of life, the misfits, the left wingers, (I hear that Palermo has a good one, that Bro must see) YO!!!! Anyhooooo! back on track Again!.. in his Tour 4 Answers he has noticed how people want 2 know? All about the weeee island people who have managed 2 spread their wing's, and travel the globe , in the Quest 4 "What's around the next Bend" Eventually we traveled all the way round the Globe Bro! , and with all the knowledge that we picked up WE! cant build a friggin Soccer team that will do us proud SHIT!, HEY! just maybe we need another trip round the World, and,and that's where our hero is, surrounded by dear friends and Bikers at Xmas down at the waterside, this is a shot of ScottyBro, and Rab doing a rendition of "Flower of Scotland" with the accompaniment of Natalie with no string's attached, yuk,yuk, needless 2 say the nite was long, and the Quest was heavy Bro!....Italians R connoisseurs of the Beautiful game, and an island culture 2 boot!.........Sicilians R a very proud people, who live in a paradise setting, who live 4 their team, No INTER, AC, JUVE, ROMA, ........NA!!!! Palermo is their team, and that's the bottom line Bro!, and ScottyBro liked that Quality, he remembers back in Scotland that his mates were either Rangers, Celtic, or Man. U. fans, he spent a lot of time arguing with them that our own town Aberdeen should B the only team, and that 2 follow like sheep the Big Boy's will only weaken the league, and drive the youngsters 2 Virtual Reality show's, and computer games, HEY!.....isn't that what's happening anyhoooo? That's another story that deserves another friggin Quest 4 Answers ugh?. Later in the evening when it had quitened down he was able 2 ask the islanders the enevitable Question?...."Why! the friggin Ell Scotland cant Go 2 the BIG-SHOW" (AGAIN) FAQ?, we heard all the usual answers, it's our northern climes, that beats us, and the foreign invasion of the premier league has killed the pool of homebrews, the poor economy, lacking Confidence in the basic skills, the acceptance of mediocrity, lack of progressive Corporate Sponsor's, and some wise cracker said that the Beautiful Game NEVER reached the Shores of Britain, and that were still searching 4 the Quest 4 the Holy Grail (The Beautiful Game) huh? Man! I could run through a friggin litany of answers, they were ongoing Bro!......and our hero was becoming more adrift from reality, YO! that wine was encompassing him in virtual reality (hic!).....Luigi and Palmero managed 2 salvage his dignity by closing the Bigshow 4 the nite, and escorting him back 2 their home, one thing the Bike Club had arranged with Luigi & Palmero was that ScottyBro would have the use of a Bike 4 his island Trippin, and just maybe they will B able 2 have some of the Clubbers join him.
P.S. Stay tuned 2 this station Bro!....our hero has a twist of fate ahead.
Heeeeeeeeee's Baaaaack! the indominible Scot with the tussled Carrot-Top, .....and the battery 2 match, Our hero returned 2 Rome, rented a car ,and,and....got his assingear 4 Sicily, headed outta Rome he latched onto the E45 south, all the way down 2 Villa San Giovanni, the port of call 4 the ferry 2 Messina on Sicily(Yahoooo) After the ferry trip, which was a weee 2 freakin choppy 4 the carrot-top, yuk,yuk,yuk,... he landed at the Prima Invasatura, where he hooked up with the E90 all the way on the coast 2 Beautiful Palermo, there he was going 2 B&B with Luigi and Palmero, who was a friend of ScottyBro's cousin, and had visited Scotland the previous year and had invited us 2 come 2 Sicily and see one of the Medditeranean Jewel's, WELL he's on the island and scooting by Villafranca Tirrena, now comes wait 4 it.....Barcellona NO! not the soccer god's just a weee hamlet on the Sicilian coast, with it's own magic 4 the weary travellers who fight the time schedules, thank god our hero has no friggin schedule, YEH! the "BIG-SHOW" WILL b HERE B/4 U know it Bro!...yuk,yuk, Anyhooooo! back 2 the trippin at hand, then on 2 Patti, MY!..... she looks nice, 2 bad gotta keep rippin, round the bend ,then onto Gioiosa Marea, down the road 2 Capo d'Orlando, Vrooooom! U got it on 2 Acquedolci , then on 2 Caronia, MAN! it's all Beautiful, on the coast, and is waiting 4 the Redhead 2 come back and visit Bro!, BLIMEY!...he shot by little Cefalu, when he got the urge! and with a weee pit-stop at the next jewel Campofelice di Roccella he was able 2 have a wee, yuk,yuk, HEY! it's Termini Imerese next, a wee hook 2 the right AH! the friggin Ocean is still on my right Bro! hmmmm!, Shit!...we have a straight away ,COOL! time 4 a wee crank of FUN! Ah! theres Casterdaccia Vroooooooom!..............now 4 Bagheria, and,and,....the next ones Beautiful Palermo, SHOOOT! ...he could'nt wait , the beautiful was the operative word, not only the vistas he had just past, but the seeing Palmero again, she was a site 4 sore eyes, and this weary traveler had a pair of them AAAHHH!!!.........theres "P-A-L-E-R-M-O".....that was one helluva trip Dude! ScottyBro had fulfilled his first promise, Shit! he felt great! 2 B in Palermo and see Luigi and Palmero again was going 2 B (MAGIC!), this is a shot of the three of them just after the Reunion, Palmero was outstanding, she had came on a ton with her English, Luigi was a work in progress, the beauty of Luigi's English was the way he threw himself into the act of getting his point accross, I often thought he should have been an entertainer, cos! everybody loved it when he dug in his heel's, and with his Broken English, which at times sounded like another language,...that was foreign, even 2 humans, stand up Comedy was certainly his Calling Bro!. and he remembered how Soccer was my passion just like him, .....and that Scotland had failed again 2 get 2 the "BIG-SHOW" AGAIN!!!!!!! SIX times we have tried but oh NO! the god's were not with us, .....SOB! Anyhoooooooooo! good old Luigi had brought along with him a Soccer Magazine with the latest FIFA rating's and this is a shot of the disclosure that the friggin Scot's had been down graded even more, SHIIITTTT! how much more can the "Tartan Army" TAKE!, freakin HELL! Sicily"s alway's getting the BOOT! like we Scot's, but at least they can look back at a helluva lot of "BLING" SHOOOOOT! ALL we want is something shiney! ANYTHING! 2 let the Archeologist who will B digging us up ,say a few hundred years from now,........... 2 establish that we Scot's not only wove beautiful fabric's, and we doctored the best Liquor around, we also were very adept at ingenuity, Pioneers, Sciences, Writing, and,and as Entertainers I might add, ugh Luigi? ALL we need 2 fill out our CV's is Damn Good "fitbaPlayers" Well it's up 2 the next lineage of Soccer Daft tussled haired dreamer's 2 take on the torch, and,and hopefully after we have found a messiah, and that we will get back 2 the "BIG-SHOW" AGAIN! and hopefully with good old Scottish pride WIN the friggin thing, HEY! without dreams, there would B no HOPE!....and that's something we Scot's have in bucket load's, SO! U can stick that Magazine where the sun don't shine Luigi, and let's change the subject ugh? Hey! doesn't Palermo have a good team this year, of course knowing very well that Luigi & Palmero and the Palermo Pinks go together like pea's in a pot, and theres Palmero wearing her PALERMOpinkPANTS, All our hero could say,...or should I say (THINK) was whatta pair of leg's Bro! , it's only jealousy that rules his thought, 4 all the relationship's he's had, he hasn't made the Big connection YET! it kinda bug's the shit outta him, that Palmero was, and is still the only love that Luigi's had, funny how life work's its little plot's Bro!, as they had found in Scotland once they broke through the facade, their candid humor took over, and with a little give and take they managed 2 enjoy their friendship, and tonite they had planned a special gathering 4 their Scottish guest, their Biker Club was going to host a party, in a Ristorante down at the waterfront, 2 give him a feeling of his hometown (Aberdeen) and 2 have a Piper Play his favorite Scottish Song "Flower of Scotland" Man! that break's the ice, even in a Curling Rink, WELL! let me tellya, he was blown over, friggin he thought here I am thousand's of miles from home and they have soothed my pain, it's Xmas time and, and that feeling of longing just took a right turn Bro! here on the wee island of Sicily in a jewel of a place called Palermo, ScottyBro found solace of heart and sole, stripped from the materialism of life, cast aside the "Bling" thrown away the want's and found peace at last, I guess it has 2 B the island mentality, people R more reserved on an island, and the keeping up with the Jones syndrome is the haunt's of the Urban mainland, the island's R generally speaking based on community's, work, and spirituality, sure R&R is a must, but on the mainland it's a Lust, that loses it's meaning in the fact that the pressure of existing wear's U down, and more and more Psychiatrists R making a killing on the revolving door, ScottyBro had noticed the change , getting off the ferry in Messina, it was like a rush of fresh air, Shoot! he thought THIS IS WHAT I CAME FOR!.
PS. Lookout 4 our hero and Luigi & Palmero on Sicily...U don't want 2 miss there next episode. Yoweeeee!
It's that time of year , U know the time 4 Reflection,...and poor ScottyBro can't get past the "BIG YIN" the one that created this whole big plan,...and the Quest! "WHY" why O why can't we Scot's get 2 the friggin "World Cup", (Groan) he's heard the answers on 4 front's Brazil, France, Spain, and Italy,...and i might add that he's more confused than ever, he left Scotland with a simple plan, and with every FFP's he's gathered more baggage yuck's,....most of the answers have mentioned that the Premier League was the destruction of the homebrew talent, and when the game returns to the grassroots, the Academy's, then U will see a more balanced and greater talent pool again, Man! that's going 2 take a freakin lotta time Bro!, our hero laughed at a kid in Brazil who said that U have 2 Crawl B/4 U learn 2 walk, Shit they have won the friggin "Big-Show" ugh? how many times fffive or is it Six times, Shoot! they know how 2 Score, and they get all the Bling, we Scot's just want a little piece of the friggin action, like ugh? getting 2 the "SHOW" that would B "COOL", 2 have the "Tartan Army" in cold storage AGAIN! is killng the game in Scotland, the youngsters in Scotland are growing up with a Losing attitude, and that is the footings from which we build our tomorrow's, ....and that my friend is Lower Ranking's in the future, (sob!)....the beauty of the Beautiful game is that you tend 2 live for the now, hopefully our hero will B able 2 decifer the Quest and find some kind of Answers that just might help him when he return's 2 Scotland after he goes 2 the "World-Cup" in June, in South Africa, this is a SHOT! he Scores! of ScottyBro in Sicily, at a Xmas Gathering, and like B/4 they asked if he could come in his Scottish Regalia, ....nae problem he said, this was all part of the cultural exchange that he figured would B part of the journey, and that is why he packed 4 the moments, and the fact is he loved 2 B different anyway, ......getting back 2 this shot , he was in the process of singing a Xmas Song plus a wee improv, When outta the blue the "Big Guy" arrived, he was a Bit Wobbly SO! ScottyBro just winged it Anyhooooo, with a wee bit of levity he was able 2 flow from the Xmas Song into the entre,and I might say, that my mates back home would have givin him a passing grade Bro!. After an evening of great company and 2 much (hic!) wine our hero was able 2 drag,....or should I say crawl his way back 2 the hotel, and that I might add was something that pre-neanderthal's could'nt do, ...and, and, we Scot's can get up in the friggin mornin and kick some ball around our hero was thinkin, Nae Bloody WAY! just maybe in the afternoon ugh?... he remembered from past experiences that the human body can only take a certain amount of abuse, THEN!... it's back 2 charging the Battery's AGAIN!, (Grunt,Groan)...B/4 he sign's off 4 the nite, he wanted 2 take some time 2 wish each and every one, the Merriest (hic!) of Xmases, hoping that U not only get what U like , and what U wanted, But! that U can give a wee cheer and hopefully a Wish, THAT! we FRIGGIN SCOTS will B partying at the next freakin "BIG-SHOW" with U, we would love 2 win it , but like that youngster in Brazil said , We can crawl 2 the party, THEN! the "Tartan Army" can show U the way 2 P-A-R-T-Y! if it came 2 winning the Cup 4 Partying, the Scot's would B up there with BRAZIL, Shoot! we need 2 Score! BRO!....Anyhoooooooo! like he said, take time 2 make time this Xmas 2 Reflect on the good thing's in life, and remember we do have a lifeline,...and that is humor! with it U can have the Xmas that we all should enjoy, this is the first Xmas that our hero has been away 4 Xmas, Thank God 4 Internet, Emails, Cell Phones, and a great......."WINE"
ScottyBro took a side trip 2 the Holy Land,....GOD'S country, NO! not the one in the Bible, but the one where all good gearheads love 2 visit, YES! U got it the beautiful rolling hills and sensuous bends of TURIN,.... the land of Ferrari and Lamborghini, Man!...whatta friggin "GIG" this is without a doubt theee Highlite, ScottyBro had fallen in love as a youngster back in Scotland, the first time he saw a Ferrari he was five years old, maybe even younger, his eyes nearly popped out of his head, it was without a doubt the most beautiful thing he had seen up till then, Well! let me tellya through the subsequent passing years they have just got better and better, and 2 this day they hold the key 2 his heart, Man! that beautiful sensuous body,and and,and,..and those gorgeous louvers, the aggressive posture, with that Ferrari Red, its the landmark of ALL Designs, everything that is made in this planet comes under the scrutiny of comparison's, is it as good as a F- F-E-R-AR-R-I?....my friggin guess is, not bloody likely!. Anyhoooooo on this trip up 2 Turin he met up with a group of "Gearheads" from all over, and they were taking this pilgrimage up 2 the halls of perfection 2 get their fix, VROOOOM,VROOOOM, the freakin damn ROOOOOOMS R Expensive! and not only 2 see the Ferarri factory, but 2 B able 2 kill two birds with one stone , his favourite I talian team is Juve!....maybe its because of the association with the City, WHAT!.....Ferarri and Juventus in the same place WOWeeeeeeee! there go's a fortune on a Ferarri T SHIRT, and a Diego's Juve SHIRT, the buck stop's in Turin! OH WELL! ...it's only money yuk,yuk. he was able 2 get the gearheads 2 take shots of him and all the Ferarri's, it was like a Win- Win Party, the shot above, is of the Ferarri 360 Spyder, one of his fave's, So! it had 2 B right on, and 2 have the beautiful Leslie Divers from his home town of Aberdeen Scotland made it all that more special, she had a wit that was off the charts, ...and 2 try and focus on the shot was a real task 4 our hero, Every time she said "CHEESE"...it sounded like Geez! and his ears would perk up, and his senses went wild, here he was touching a 360 Spyder, ...and, and, and looking into the eyes of a gorgeuos Scottish Lassie (SWOOOON), I guess the game never end's, it's just that theres no time 2 start, and time 2 end huh?, U have 2 seize the moment, and love it Bro!. Well Anyhooo! they were going 2 spend the afternoon on a picnic, somewhere in the Turin hill's with a bottle of Italy's best , and the magical sounds of a rasping Ferarri as a backdrop, Friggin ell what else do U want out of Life Bro! THAT!....... and a Passionate Picnic with Leslie, "LONG LIVE GEARHEADS".
SeeeeyaSOON! ScottyBro
PS Our hero is all geared up now, and ready 4 the next "RUMBLE".
Sorry gang! our hero's been down with the friggin flu,.. Man! he thought he was dying, he was thinking that it must have been after the trip up 2 the Leaning tower of Pisa, the bus ride was hectic, and some of the tourists were coughing, Shit!...it hit him like a brick wall, YUK!!! with all this beauty around and he had 2 get sick, NOW that he's back on track he wants 2 go fire on ALL Cylinders, Bro!..........theres so much 2 see and do in Italy, freakin ell U would need a few lifetimes just 2 scrape the barrel, (hic!)...Oooops! gotta a little ahead of myself yuk,yuk, Anyhoooooo! one place was Big on ScottyBro's agenda was the immortal city of Venice, I know,...I know,...it's friggin sinking and all that, and we wont pull the plug, on the Royal tub,.....somehow we'll make it work again, the billions will B spent, and the millions will pay rent, (as usual). While in Venice our hero got locked into a debate with the tourists, and the local,s (I know their getting fewer, and fewer) about the up-coming World Cup, Man!!! everybody has a say, Bro!.the one thing about Soccer is that no matter where U are on this friggin planet, "Their waiting 4 U" the masses, the throng's, the Crouds, Soccer is a language U might know the detail's of a specific language But! I Bet U that no matter Who your talking 2, the names and the games will bring cheer 2 their eyes, and they will reach 4 conversation, more than any political or religious debate that's on the table, long live fitba (SOCCER) it brings joy 2 the heart, and it makes us sing, Sure!... we need a wee bit more Harmony, but that will come WHEN! Scotland wins the "World Cup" sob! I will say that(sob) is an acronym for....Sonofabitch! and that it's becoming an endearing part of our culture, now that Soccer has taken a back seat 2 Poker, S0b!! FAQ? he promised b/4 the trip that IF Scotland failed 2 qualify AGAIN!!!!!!!! THAT he would keep it 2gether Bro!....up till now he's kept it "COOL" SHIT! it really gets him aggrevated though, How can the best fans in All the World (The TartanArmy) B left at the friggin docks AGAIN!, faq?.......can somebody fill me in, PLEASE???? I know I hear the phrase over and over and over and over and over AGAIN!...wait till the next TIME Bro, YEH!...THERE GOING 2 MAKE IT, Shit!...I remember when making oot wassa priviledge, and not a freakin battle, Oh Well, thats another story, onwards and upwards is the Scotty way, now getting back 2 Venice after meeting up with 2 couples from California, Rik and Summer, Cody and Bretta, YEH! real California names huh?, they got into a discustion with a group of tourists about the "World Cup" Who was going 2 win it,...and the enevitable Boondoggle of Them All!...Why is Scotland not at the "Big-Show", MAN! it took a lot of sole searching, trying 2 be pragmatic about it, But alas the friggin Answers are still the same after all this time, "We R not good enough 2 grace the Big stage, We have 2 get good and ready THEN! We can take the show on the road with confidence, and that my friend is going 2 take a helluva long time, What!...with the expansion of the game into all corners of the world I cannot see us being in the game until hopefully someone will come along, somebody real special, ...a Messiah, that can change our program and take us on a new path, Shit!..our hero was getting pretty pissed off by now, he hated dwelling on the negative, Man! life is 2 freakin short 2 be wasted on the "ifandsandbutts" sequels 2 life. That afternoon ScottyBro and his new California (its beautiful how it rolls of the tongue huh?) friends went 4 a Gondola ride on the "Grand Canal" it is without a doubt,....a site 4 sore eyes Bro! once on the water its a whole new perspective, U try 2 imagine yourself in a taxi, and being shown the sites, well being planted in a boat with All the action that goes on around U, and the sounds,Well let me tell U , if your like our hero and have ADD, U would have no chance of being a Gondaleer, (Thank God) it takes a special individual 2 manouver these boats in and out of all the nooks and cranny's of Venice, my hat's off 2 them, They R not only skilled in the Gondola management, but they R part of the act , That is Venice! U play out the role because it envelopes U, there is no holding back, U fit right into the play, the moment U arrive in Venice, being a first time tourist, is the worst, U R so enraptured by the sites, and the friggin engineering that built it , they have the biggest Construction site in the world , working in the lagoon building massive water tight gates 2 hold bak the Adriatic, and hopefully save Venice from the frequent storms that R part of its destruction, the population of Venice has dropped 60% since the late fifties, the city has become a tourist only site now, the preservation is going 2 cost billions, and will B an ongoing concern 4 years, Shoot! its amazing what engineering can do? ugh!New Orleans?. The shot above was a stop over 2 get some novelty shots of the beautiful Architecture, that is Venice, its kind of tricky taken shots on the boat, one can try 2 do a 360,.....and ooops (Overboard) into the drainage soup that is the quality of the water in the Lagoon, yuk, This paricular shot, is one where he stopped 2 purchase a souvenir World Cup ball that he had promised the Gondaleer Guiseppe, ..........and,and with one cultured swing of his trusty right foot he was able 2 drop it on the Gondala, with the skill of a Premier league midfield dynamo, .......................................................Well thats not quite true, this is actually take 23, and the friggin Ball did land in the Canal regardless, one thing I took away from this exploits was,...that this crew could play 4 Scotland, and maybe I should B a recriut for the team huh?.
SeeeeeyaSOON! ScottyBro (hic!)
ps I promise the next time I catch the flu 2 take a header!...in the friggin Grand Canyon.
Woweeeeee!...whatta a trip, Man!... "TUSCANY" has a special place in the hearts and minds of the intrepid traveller, it not only takes U 4 a Spin, it pulls U in and raptures your mind! ScottyBro was in his element, That!...and some Bellisimo Vino! (hic!)......this has 2 B God's country, it is so virtuious, that it friggin boggles the mind,...and that's something that our poor intrepid hero needed, was a getting away from it ALL!. He had read about it through the years, but 2 B standing on the red clay soil and look across a valley at the beautiful rolling hill's, and...and.....the Beautiful Cypress trees,like boundary guards, pointing 2 the heaven's saluting the beholder, and...and those Villa's, and...the tiled Roof's, and those meandering country roads with natures profusion on every bend! geeeeee!! Whatta friggin place, U could lose yer head here if U were so incline yuk,yuk,....it has a "CHILLIN FACTOR" that is off the table, Bro!, ScottyBro thinks that the word Beautiful is used more times here than any other place in the freakin planet, Blimey! and this is just the first day, Man! he can't wait 4 more of the same, with it's high chillin factor count, No wonder people live long lives in its embrace, he had been telling his buddy Nash back in Scotland, that Rome had blown his socks off, but he was thinking that the whole boot of Italy, had 2 B made of the finest Quality Leather Bro!....ScottyBro had a feeling that if it were a cake,... Italy would have a helluva lot of icing on top. The tour had stopped 4 the nite at a Villa, and this is a shot of our hero with his Beautiful full bodied, red......Wine caressing his friggin senses, Chillin his body and soul, and mingling with the vista before him.
Hey Remember, ScottyBro is a tuner,So!....stay tuned 2 his ADDventures in Italy.
Man!...these Bus Tours R an adventure on 2 themselves, U could actually spend ALL your trip on a Bus in Italy, and never get bored!, Well Anyhooooooo!....... our hero had hooked up with 3 young fillies on the tour bus up 2 PISA, it goes without saying, that he took a lot of stick with his accent, Chic's love the Scottish twang!....I think they like any twang, as long as it has Life YO!.....AND he certainly fills the bill, ugh?. When they got 2 Pisa, they asked him 2 accompany them 2 the sites, WELL! let me tellya,...."THE SHOT'S" that he planned in his head were a friggin pain in the ass, Every location was a...how shall I put it, an Adventure in Bio-Genetical Diplomacy, the game plan was 2 share in the freakin "Shots"....So! that we could make them personal, "LIKE BEING IN...... THE SHOTS", All they were interested in was "What's next" and....and......the old stand buy!....Wheres the shop's, geeeeee!, Frigginell!....if it was'nt 4 the kindness of the Other tourist's our hero would not have ANY SHOTS!, CHILL-OUT!.............was the order of the day, SO! with an open mind and a friggin helluva lot of peaceful guidance he was able 2 navigate the minefield of gender association Bro!, the bottom line is that he was able 2 get his shots by hook or by crook, and the rest of the tourists on the bus had told him that they would help him with the next "Tuscany",...THIS!...is a shot of the Babes planning their next Shoppin out in SIENNA!.....meanwhile ScottyBro has thee "SHOT" of all Shots, this is one he had planned 4 ,back in Scotland, the distance and the perspective had 2 B bang on, or it would'nt work,there had 2 B co-operation from the one behind the len's and our hero, SO! he had 2 endure the strain of bonevolent barterof "get your finger out" and take the freakin "SHOT"l,....I must admit that the shot worked out better than he had planned, outta the blue came the Tour Bus driver Sergio!.....who was able 2 take the shot,........Blimey! the girl's have got the friggin map out now, Oh NO! there goes another hour,...at least say's Sergio!.....ugh?.
Stay tuned 2 the miss-adventures of our prodigal son ScottyBro in Tuscany .........CHILL!
Whaaaatta friggin PARTEEEE!...Luigi and Palmero arranged 4 a wee gathering at a seaside Restorante, just 2 make ScottyBro feel at home, Blimey!.....we had 80 people turn up, Man! it helped 2 sooth the pain of being away from home at Xmas, that and "Bikers will Always come 2 a Party" Bro! . They had managed 2 get the services of Rab Bruce, Who! it happened 2 B on the island doing research into the Mt. Etna volcano, he wassa volcanologist, from Glasgow, going round the world 2 all the Big hotspot's, and doing on-site research and data collecting, Man! Scot's have gotta B one of the greatest travellers, and I might add Researchers in human history Bro?, can U imagine growing up in Scotland and studying "Volcanoes" huh?.well Rab told him that good old Edinburgh Castle was sitting right on top of a Volcano, millions of years defunk, but none the less, a "Volcano".....and, and U never know, one of these century's.......... ( KABOOOM!) Anyhoooooo! Luigi & Palmero had manged 2 acquire his services 2 play his pipes at the gathering, and the funny thing was............that his Italian girlfriend who didn't speak a word of English, was by his side all evening long, YEH! that's her on the extreme left, I guess she must like men in skirt's who happen 2 B long winded, hmmm? SHIT! our hero well's up everytime he hears the pipes Bro!, and especially at Xmas time and never having been away from home at this time of year, (sob!) Now! where was he? AH! ...as one can see , Luigi Palmero, & there friend Roberto had come in their cultural garb, the "PalermoPINK" was the order of the day, and a few others had taken the heed, and this year the Palermo Soccer team is a good team, SO! there is "Cheer" on the island, How about giving Scotland some of the friggin "Bling" ugh?, we need HELP!, I tellya if we had 2 wear a skirt, and,and .....wear "PINK" we would do it Pronto Mate,.....(I think?). ScottyBro was soon the focus of attention, with his tartan kilt, Carrot-top, hiking boot's, and his Scottish "Tank-Top" he was hmmm? different,he was not the usual tourist who frequented the shores of this Mediterranean Jewel, NO! ....that's 4 sure, people have always been intrigued by the unorthodoxy of life, the misfits, the left wingers, (I hear that Palermo has a good one, that Bro must see) YO!!!! Anyhooooo! back on track Again!.. in his Tour 4 Answers he has noticed how people want 2 know? All about the weeee island people who have managed 2 spread their wing's, and travel the globe , in the Quest 4 "What's around the next Bend" Eventually we traveled all the way round the Globe Bro! , and with all the knowledge that we picked up WE! cant build a friggin Soccer team that will do us proud SHIT!, HEY! just maybe we need another trip round the World, and,and that's where our hero is, surrounded by dear friends and Bikers at Xmas down at the waterside, this is a shot of ScottyBro, and Rab doing a rendition of "Flower of Scotland" with the accompaniment of Natalie with no string's attached, yuk,yuk, needless 2 say the nite was long, and the Quest was heavy Bro!....Italians R connoisseurs of the Beautiful game, and an island culture 2 boot!.........Sicilians R a very proud people, who live in a paradise setting, who live 4 their team, No INTER, AC, JUVE, ROMA, ........NA!!!! Palermo is their team, and that's the bottom line Bro!, and ScottyBro liked that Quality, he remembers back in Scotland that his mates were either Rangers, Celtic, or Man. U. fans, he spent a lot of time arguing with them that our own town Aberdeen should B the only team, and that 2 follow like sheep the Big Boy's will only weaken the league, and drive the youngsters 2 Virtual Reality show's, and computer games, HEY!.....isn't that what's happening anyhoooo? That's another story that deserves another friggin Quest 4 Answers ugh?. Later in the evening when it had quitened down he was able 2 ask the islanders the enevitable Question?...."Why! the friggin Ell Scotland cant Go 2 the BIG-SHOW" (AGAIN) FAQ?, we heard all the usual answers, it's our northern climes, that beats us, and the foreign invasion of the premier league has killed the pool of homebrews, the poor economy, lacking Confidence in the basic skills, the acceptance of mediocrity, lack of progressive Corporate Sponsor's, and some wise cracker said that the Beautiful Game NEVER reached the Shores of Britain, and that were still searching 4 the Quest 4 the Holy Grail (The Beautiful Game) huh? Man! I could run through a friggin litany of answers, they were ongoing Bro!......and our hero was becoming more adrift from reality, YO! that wine was encompassing him in virtual reality (hic!).....Luigi and Palmero managed 2 salvage his dignity by closing the Bigshow 4 the nite, and escorting him back 2 their home, one thing the Bike Club had arranged with Luigi & Palmero was that ScottyBro would have the use of a Bike 4 his island Trippin, and just maybe they will B able 2 have some of the Clubbers join him.
